Myla Kabat-zinn: Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting
The Maternal Is Political: Women Writers at the Intersection of Motherhood and Social Change
Brené Brown: I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame
Natalie Goldberg: Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within
Karen Maezen Miller: Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood
Another week, and my heart is full with gratitude.
I am grateful for life.
I am grateful for my health.
I am grateful for sunshine and shadows.
I am grateful for surprise gifts.
I am grateful for old friends.
I am grateful for time spent with family.
What are you feeling grateful for today?
I am grateful for my capacity to hope.
It's been quite a week.
The downturn of our economy has hit very close to home. Last Wednesday, my dear husband was laid off from his job of 12 years. The layoff wasn't totally unexpected, as we had known for a bit that his company would be reducing their workforce. Still, it has been quite an adjustment to realize that our family's income has suddenly dried up. I am very grateful that he was at least given a severance package that will {hopefully} carry us until we figure out what comes next. I know that many families finding themselves in this situation have not been so fortunate.
I've been wrestling with some very big emotions around
the whole situation. Right now, I feel somewhat overwhelmed by anxiety,
fear, and anger. I'm also feeling a bit helpless and frantic. I feel
sad at how abruptly John's time with his company ended - that there was
no time for goodbyes, no celebration of his many successes, no time for
questions or for closure.
John is positive and optimistic, and really, truth be told, I am too. He's already working so hard - looking for more traditional jobs, but also keeping himself open to whatever opportunities might come his way. He is one of the smartest, most talented, most resourceful people I know. {And I'd say that even if I wasn't so lucky as to be married to him.}
I am trying my best to stay present in the face of fear and to remember that sometimes the most challenging circumstances open you up to unexpected opportunities. I am reminding myself that sometimes you have to let go of what you are holding onto so that you can grab hold of something else. I am trying to trust that things will work out - in one way or another.
Finding ourselves here certainly helps to put things in perspective. Times like these quickly clarify priorities, and the wants fall starkly away from the needs - the house, food, health insurance.
I am so grateful for the support that our family has already received. The kindness has been overwhelming, and the encouraging words and gestures make it impossible to not be grateful for what we do have. And most importantly, we have each other.
We're trying to make the most of this time. In addition to a
rigorous exploration of all possibilities in front of us, we're trying
to make room for other things too. We're hoping to finish a few
lingering home-improvement projects, and of course, spend some good
quality time together. We're also trying to make sure I get some time
in the jewelry studio, as I've been really aching to get back to work.
Below is a little something I finished today - a gift for a friend. I
think I might just make one for myself too. It's funny how I keep coming back to the "hope" necklaces.
So, today, my grateful Monday post feels all the more important. Because despite the challenging circumstances, there are countless blessings in my life. I have so much to be grateful for. Here are a few things making my heart swell today:
I am grateful for my amazing, big-hearted, handsome husband.
I am grateful for my sweet daughter. And her laugh, which can cause every wall around my heart to crumble.
I am grateful for the support and generosity of our families - for the endless encouragement, faith, hope, and love that surround us.
I am grateful for the support of our friends and community, for all of the opportunities and opening doors.
I am grateful that my daughter is soothed by my embrace.
I am grateful that we have health insurance for the next two months.
I am grateful for time to indulge in creativity.
I am grateful that each day, this is what is waiting for me:
What are you feeling grateful for today?
It’s been a week since the election. Despite the cloud of joy and hope I have been floating on since last Tuesday night, my heart still feels heavy with the weight of the recent political season. You see, the divisiveness of political races causes me an enormous amount of anxiety. I am saddened by the way our disagreements overshadow our shared struggles and joys and our common humanity.
Over the past few years, as John and tried and tried to grow our family, I made deep and lasting connections with other women throughout this country and around the world. Similar challenges, experiences, and dreams caused our paths to intersect, and journeying together forged strong bonds – bonds built on understanding the heartache of babyloss and infertility. We mourned together and dreamed together and hoped together. We were a secret sisterhood – fiercely loyal and offering unwavering support.
And now, with Thea here safe and sound, new connections have emerged and old relationships have risen to a different level. We mamas [of living children] gather around each other too, at times offering guidance, at times simply providing support and encouragement. We share our experiences, our strategies, our struggles, and of course, our joys.
In both circles, we corralled around each other, our differences not as important as the bonds and shared experience that brought us together. And yet the differences were always there.
I have a confession to make. Sometimes, for brief moments, I catch myself forgetting that not everyone else is just like me, that we are all so very different. I know, I know. I’m working on it.
But seriously, I sometimes find myself a bit startled when those who I share so much in common with - philosophies of parenting, for instance – end up holding starkly different opinions on other matters.
And yet the differences were always there.
We can travel a similar road and see the scenery in dramatically different ways. We can be fiercely loyal to each other, yet not see eye to eye on certain things. [Once again, this amazing post rings true.]
We all have our own history, our own journey, our own stories. Our similarities and our nuances are woven together into the complexity that is the human experience. Isn’t it the differences that add depth and texture to our existence?
Elections have a way of magnifying our disparity, causing us to draw lines in the sand and huddle in our camps. But I think that what we have in common is of much greater measure than the disagreements that could divide us. Despite our differences, we all want similar things – to be safe and healthy and happy – to have our needs met – to protect those that we love and the values that guide us. We all want understanding and for our voices to be heard. We all want what is best for our children. We all want to mother them in the best ways we know how.
Since I first heard them, Barack Obama’s words - “We are not as divided as our politics suggest” – have deeply resonated with me.
With all of my heart, I believe these words to be true.
So, in the days ahead, I will choose to look for ways to connect.
To listen.
To understand.
To heal.
Won't you join me?
I have so many things to be grateful for. So many.
Here are a few particularly bright spots:
I am grateful that my friend pointed me in the direction of these diapers.
I am grateful for naps that last longer than 20 minutes.
I am grateful that after a couple of long months, my sweet daughter seems to be feeling a bit better.
I am grateful that I have been able to nurse my daughter for nearly seven months.
I am grateful for a super-generous friend who has shared nearly all of her daughter's baby things with us.
I am grateful for my darling husband, who is my best friend and biggest supporter, and who continually surprises me with his kindness and understanding.
What are you grateful for today?
My Mondays seem to slip away before I can post my grateful Monday lists. So, here you have it, a day late.
On Tuesday, you can make history. Yeah, YOU.
butternut squash soup
I've been feeling a bit weepy and moody this week, just wanting to curl up into myself. It's easy for me to find myself in here when I'm extra-tired and feeling pulled in too many directions, which has been the case as of late. When I feel the most overwhelmed and tired, taking time to rest and replenish usually falls way down on my list of things to do. Somehow, doing the dishes or vacuuming or catching up on correspondence always seems to happen first and then I just collapse from exhaustion without finding a few quiet moments to just be.
But this week, I've been thinking a lot about what this wise soul said about raising kids - that we can't give our children what we don't have and that finding time to rest and to invite creativity into our lives are a crucial part of it all. Because I know that I don't want to teach my daughter that taking care of herself isn't a valid priority through my refusal to simply slow down.
So, this week, I spent some time in my jewelry studio hammering metal and teaching myself a thing or two. As I played, I felt the pressure creep in - to get back into production mode so I can reopen my shop. And then I stopped and reminded myself that right now, this time at the workbench is just about play. And suddenly, I had dozens of ideas of things I wanted to make - this after months of feeling rather stuck. It felt good.
And this afternoon, while Thea slept for an unprecedented hour and a half, I chopped and simmered and stirred a most delicious soup. I felt grateful for the quiet when I could simply focus on the heft of my knife and the way the vegetables felt in my hands and the smells rising from the pot. And then it didn't feel much like work - it felt more like a salve for my tired spirit.
Welcome to the weekend. I hope you find a few moments to just rest, to just be.
We had a bit of a crazy and exhausting day over here, which didn't leave me any time to post Monday's grateful list.
So, here goes...a day late.
What's making your heart swell today?
We're a few months into raising our girl, so I thought I would share a few of my favorite things for baby and mama.
Moby wrap - This saved our sanity when Thea was in her "I'll scream if you put me down" phase around 8-10 weeks. This was my favorite wrap because it allowed me to wear her snuggled to my chest in an upright position, which she seemed to prefer. I tried other slings, but I felt like she was too bunched up and I was worried about her airway being constricted. Until the heat of a Virginia summer made it too hot, I used the moby almost daily. And now that fall has brought cooler days, I'm back to wearing it just about every day.
Under the Nile organic cotton baby booties - These booties were the only things I could keep on Thea's feet. I'm sad that she's grown out of them now, because it's hard to keep socks on those little feet.
Weleda calendula baby face cream - I use this daily. It worked well on the little bit of cradle cap that Thea had, and it also really helps with dry skin on her face and little scratches from her flailing hands.
Lansinoh nursing pads - These pads are the most absorbent and discreet that I have found. And believe me, I have tried a lot of brands (Medela and Gerber, among others). I tried to use washable cotton pads, and I leaked right through them.
LilyPadz - As a big leaker, for the first couple of months, these pad were essential to me because they stop the leaks instead of simply absorbing them. They're also the only breast pads that were completely unnoticeable under clothing.
Bravado original nursing bra - Every nursing mom has their favorite bra. This is mine. It's most like the bras I used to wear before things got extra large and extra heavy. This bra has fit well while accomodating my changing size - through engorgement, my milk regulating, and my post-baby weight loss.
Bumgenius 3.0 one-size cloth diapers - These diapers have worked so well for us. I love the fact that they will grow with Thea so I won't have to keep buying new expensive diapers as she grows. I also tried fuzzi bunz and feel like the Bumgenius fit her better and contain the mess pretty well. They're very easy to care for too. I really like using Blueberry hemp inserts for nights - they're very absorbent and I don't have to change her overnight unless she's made a big mess.
Miracle Blanket - This blanket is the only swaddle blanket that was able to contain our escape artist.
Babylegs - They are simply irresistibly cute.
Smithsonian Folkways Children's Music Collection - A friend of mine gave us this to welcome Thea, and it hardly leaves the CD player. It is a good mix of classics and songs I had never heard before. Tunes by Woody Guthrie, Ella Jenkins, and Pete Seeger are included, among others. My personal favorite is "Pole, Pole."
Vicks Baby Thermometer - I loooove this thermometer. Using it, I have no worries about how far to insert the thermomter. And it reads the temperature super-fast too.
If I had to pick only two resources on mothering, I wouldn't choose the books on sleep or baby development or scheduling. Instead, I'd go for these:
Momma Zen by Karen Maezen Miller and
The Gift of Imperfect Parenting by Brene Brown
So, there you have it!
What are your favorite things?
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