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« a love letter, of sorts | Main | growth »

June 01, 2008

Comments

Gatxan

Your picture with Thea in the Moby wrap is lovely. Really. You look so mommy! Sweet.

Mad

My little guy spent the first 3 months in his moby. He refused to be put down and he was only happy if he was in MY arms. He only slept if he was RIGHT next to me too which made the first few months SO very hard. He is just more sensitive than most babies I think. Even now at 13 months he prefers me to everyone else. But he now sleeps in his crib, toddles around and is happy to play on his own for a little bit... just know that this won't last forever.... I know it's hell when you're in it but at 6 months it will get better I promise. Hang in there!

Sara Krivanec

Nikole,

An adjustment from the chiropractor can do wonders for some babies. The birth process can be hard on their little necks and affect sleeping and nursing. Anna Madland in Mechanicsville is really great. I'm speaking here as a mother of three whose babes have been helped and as a postpartum doula.

kelly

I used to be very skeptical about infant chiropractic but it is REALLY worth a shot. From my understanding, sometimes it is even more noticeably improved in c-section babies because they are pulled out by their heads and this can misalign the atlas. That is not meant to scare you. Look, we all survived driving around in our parents' cars in a grape crate and they gave us cereal in bottles *gasp*!! We all managed without chiropractors too but it is worth a shot.

We love our Moby wrap too! I almost emailed you a picture of MY husband wearing ours. =)

I think you are doing so remarkably well under the circumstances..really. I am emotionally worn out just putting myself in your position. You are a wonderful mom and you guys are doing great! Love the picture.

I'm excited for you to get into a nicer routine too without so much pumping eventually. pain in the arse, pumping is. but what you are so faithfully doing IS protecting your supply and you are doing the right thing, freakin' exhausting though it is!

Kate

I like the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" which calls these first three months the fourth trimester--that babies really aren't quite ready for our world yet which is why mimicing the womb (sling, shh sound, rocking)are all good. And just wait for 12 weeks, I swear, it really was like a switch turned on and my little man started smiling,fussing less etc. It is slow/hard/exhausting when you are in the thick of it, but time does start to fly. I can't believe I have an eighteen month old.

Kate

I totally understand where you are coming from. Jacob started sleeping through the night around February, of this year (18 months old.) But now 3 months later I have forgotten what those days where like. He now goes done with no problems, usually a laugh and a kiss goodnight. He also sleeps anywhere from 10-13 hours at a time and we are down to 1 nap that can be anywhere from 1-3 hours. I am telling you this because I remember being so overwhelmed with no sleep. I want to let you know it does get better. My one suggestion that we did not do, get Thea to take a pacifier, if she doesn't already. I believe that would have saved me a few months of no sleep. If not the whole 18 months. I read what Rebecca had to say and whole heartily agree just use your instincts and you will be fine.
We cannot wait to see you all in a few weeks.

Kelly

I just don't understand why women complain about how hard motherhood is and the lack of sleep. I'm not supermom by any means, but somehow I managed to have a c-section, birth a special needs baby, go through three surgeries in the first year, and still raise two other small children in the process. I realize the gift I was given and never would I thumb my nose at it, complaining about it being hard!

I have followed your journey for a long time and am just floored that after all you've been through, you can't take this gift and embrace it without complaining.

Nicole Hymas

There is absolutely nothing that I can say to "Kelly" right now that would be dignified. I seriously think that her comment must be some kind of joke. I hope that it is. Seriously, Nikole, if her comment isn't a joke, please don't give her a second thought. We all know how much you love Thea and that you aren't complaining - simply stating the fact that she is fussy during the day. You don't need to state that Thea is the biggest gift that you have in your life (along with John). The people who know you know that that goes without saying. Okay - I'll move on and try to ignore my boiling blood right now.

Thea is so cute and getting so big. I can't wait for her to play with Paige when they get older. I think about you often and sympathize with your breastfeeding issues. I am still having a couple of my own. I love you to pieces!!!!

Dale

@Kelly and others who share her sentiments:

I think by sharing her frustrations (and joys - there are many of them here, in case they were overlooked), Nikole is gearing herself up to be a wonderful mother.

I had a baby almost 6 months ago (and by no means had to deal with the kind of fussy that Nikole describes) and know firsthand just how the lack of sleep can affect your mental well-being. While you're pregnant, everyone says to "nap and sleep while you can" as if you can somehow bank all the extra sleep you get. Unfortunately that is not the case, and no amount of extra sleep can prepare you for the immediate lack of sleep you get as a new mother. While my daughter now sleeps through the night, if she has a bad night, I'm still shocked by how much that interruption affects me the next morning now that I'm used to sleeping again.

I think I'd rather hear a mother talking with her friends about all she is going through and asking for help than seeing one pretend that all is perfect and ashamed / embarrassed / too stubborn to ask for help. Those situations often end badly and I believe being able to talk honestly about what you're going through promotes a much healthier environment for both mom and baby.

Motherhood is truly a wonderful thing but it is difficult. Some days are better than others, some moments are wonderful and others are handled best by walking away for a minute or two. And be honest, in the beginning, little babies don't do anything – there's no smiling, no cooing, no real recognition that they know who you are. All you do is feed and feed and feed. It can be draining and I'm sure all the moms out there can say honestly that they've felt that way.

Factor in all the crazy hormones that are still ravaging your body (and continue to do so when you notice all your hair falling out!) and you have one crazy situation. I've often said to my husband that no one prepares you for the fact that life as you knew it is gone. Sure, life is great with a baby and holds the promise for many more wonderful joys, but in an instant, your life is changed forever. No more running to the grocery store quickly (with a nursing and napping newborn), no more movies in the theater (unless you enjoy trying to hush a fussy baby through 2 hours of a movie), no more sleeping in on the weekends. They seem like silly, trivial things, but those things, along with many other parts of your life, are changed in one instant.

Change happens quickly; the adjusting takes time.

Kate

Sorry that you had to get a comment like Kelly's--we all have our own joys and sorrows in life and I hope she did not mean to be so critical. I fought to have my baby too, and you know what, I still HATED the first 3 months (there is a reason why sleep deprivation is used in torture practices)Did I love my son any less? Did I (or Nikole) not deserve to have the gift of him because I was honest enough to express that motherhood is full of peaks and valleys? Frankly, I am more worried about the mothers who say they love every minute of it than I am about the ones who dare(!) to say being a mama is sometimes tough.

Harmony

i am glad things are going better and you are in a routine!

Thea looks adorable in her moby wrap with you! you two are adorable!

Harmony

i am glad things are going better and you are in a routine!

Thea looks adorable in her moby wrap with you! you two are adorable!

Jessica

We received a Moby as a gift as well and it was a lifesaver early on! I could put her in it and do other stuff with my hands free, and she would usually settle to sleep in it. It's great!

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