self-portrait, wearing my sparkly, i-feel-pretty earrings by keen designs
What our creativity calls to us cannot wait. The images and voices of the muse are inspired in the moment. Trying to hold it back is like trying to prevent gravity from pulling on the ocean's tides.
Creativity is not designed for fitting into a mother's busy day, nor is it convenient. It may disrupt our sleep, invade our dreams, and distract our thoughts until we give it expression. If we try to stave off its advances and ask it to wait until the children leave home, we may find ourselves stranded without inspiration.
-from Meditations for New Mothers, by Beth Wilson Saavedra
Often, in the evening hours approaching bedtime, my husband will see me pecking away at the computer, and he will urge me to close my laptop, to go to sleep, to rest. And I do need to sleep. But lately, I have been compelled to write. My heart is full with raw emotions. My mind is slowly processing all of the events of the past several months. And so I write to keep this energy flowing, to continue opening those locked doors of my heart, to quiet my mind.
Now that Thea has been here for a few weeks, we are starting to settle into our new normal. Right now, this normal means that no two days look the same. I feel consumed with her - nurturing her and sustaining her in a very physical sense, but also with drinking in her simple magnificence and the miraculousness of everything that she is. And yet, I know that sometime in the future, my focus will expand, and I'll be able to start thinking about and working towards other interests.
close-up of keen earrings pictured above
It's been quite a while since I've felt truly inspired to create any new pieces for my line of handcrafted jewelry. Each day, I walk into my studio - freshly painted and organized and just waiting for the finishing touches. I pass by the table where I work. I see all of the drawers filled with beautiful stones, the bins where I store my tools. I see projects that were started but not finished before my pregnancy required me to pause. I want to work. But even if I had the time, I don't feel ready yet. I'm curious to find out when inspiration will strike once again.
I used to think that I wasn't a creative person. That was back in the day when I mistakenly associated "creative" with "artistic." And that, I certainly was not. But as I've grown older and more comfortable in my own skin, I've come to firmly believe that I am in fact creative, and that we are all creative beings. I believe that we all find unique ways to solve problems and to bring beauty into our lives. I believe that we all have urges to create, to give birth to our own ways of existing, to guide our inspiration into the light.
I have always had difficulty in finding time to just let myself be. Yet, this is the space where my creative spark catches and bursts into a bright flame. So now, in the thick of motherhood, I'm curious to discover the new ways that my creativity will find expression.
How do you pause to honor your creativity? How do you let your spirit shine?