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February 04, 2009



oh nikole, i'm so glad you shared this. i'm a soon-to-be new mama (due on july 3rd), and i have been reading, writing, and thinking in preparation for this life-changing event. i have already found your blog to be such a great source of honest info. thank you.


So lovely. So honest. So you. Beautifully said.

catherine illian

thanks for sharing--

I would say-- listen to yourself-- trust your instincts-- if something is making you crazy or angry at your child-- try to fix it-- for me that was jack not sleeping-- we had to do something or I would have hurt him-- because I wasn't sleeping.. enough...

definitely-- rest for the first two weeks-- try not to do anything but sleep and feed your baby-- get someone to do laundry and housework and meals-- my mom came and helped-- as long as they won't interfere with your bonding too much-- ie you trust your relationship enough with them -- I agree-- beyond that-- so much really is what works for you and your baby.. I think it is important to be consistent in what you do-- ie expectations-- and routine-- if you have one-- stick to it-- if not-- don't be mad when they don't do things the way you want..
remember that just when you think things are going great-- they will change and you'll have to adapt to something else..


thank you for this - I am sending it to my best friend who is delivering her first baby today


I have this ABC's of new mommy-hood but it must be on my computer at work. I'll look and if I find it I'll post it.

letting go of expectations is a big one, and is hard to do. and trusting your instincts is probably the best thing any mom can do. Its hard to hear that voice sometimes. But you learn after awhile. When you fight it or deny it, you'll flop. And when you follow it, you'll be so proud that you did that for your kid. Its a hard skill to hone sometimes because we can be surrounded with reasons or people that cause us to be unable to hear our instincts or cause us to distrust it.

love that picture Nikole.


I found my mommy ABC's. Its kinda long. I wrote this for my friend when she had her first baby:

Always sleep when he sleeps, at least in the beginning! Sounds easy but its hard to do when you have so much you think needs to be done right now!

Boobs/bottles – use nipple cream after every single feeding! Bottles & binkies ARE OK! And so is formula!

Call me anytime! 301-6651 If I don’t know it, I have a friend who does, or I have a book on it. And if I don’t have a book on it, I can find out on the internet! Anything!
AND Crib bedding: changing crib sheets should be an Olympic event. It’s a pain. Layer your bedding like this: pee pad, sheet, pee pad, sheet, pee pad. In the middle of the night you do not want to have to lift the whole mattress and change the whole damn thing. Whip off the top wet layer and ta-da, done!

Diaper bag – pack one now. Always put a change of clothes or 2 in there for him! Blowouts at Costco suck.  An extra shirt for you is great too…for barf, breastmilk leaks, etc.

Eat and drink enough while breastfeeding. It made me so thirsty! Keep water by wherever you will breastfeed. AND Every baby is different!

Forget – you will forget things you want to remember and remember things that you don’t want to (like annoying advice, mean delivery nurses, stupid things people say).

Get sleep!

Hospital – pack shampoo and conditioner, lotion, your favorite bath stuff, some deoderant and stuff that will make you feel better in your hospital bag. That first shower feels SO good. The bed for daddy at the hospital sucks, and the smaller post delivery rooms are like broom closets, just so you are forewarned.

Ignore all the books and advice when you start to question your own instincts. Books are great at first, then you need to just do what works for you and your baby and your husband!!!!!!! I can’t stress this enough! I stressed so much over what stupid books and friends said about what my baby should be doing or shouldn’t be doing or whatever!

Joy and love beyond belief!

Keep that baby to yourself if you wanna!!! I was accused of baby-hogging with my friends all the time and I didn’t care!  You grew him and pushed him out, if you want him all to yourself, do it! But don’t feel guilty if you need a break either!!

Lactation/La Leche League. Breastfeeding takes patientce, time, more patience, sometimes a pump, more patience and time and a good support system. Find a good breastfeeding website and print out the FAQs. You'll need it more than once.

Make time for Daddy. Again, sounds easy but is not! No one talks about how hard a baby is on most marriages, even great ones.

No. Its OK to tell people No. No don’t come over. No don’t feed him cheerios yet. No don’t put your finger in his damn mouth. No you can’t hold him right now. No he’s not sick. No thank you. And its good practice because you’ll soon be telling him No a lot…a lot more than you would like probably!

Ouch! Breastfeeding does hurt a lot in the first couple or 3 weeks. Use that nipple cream and hang in there. It DOES get better! If you get too sore, use the pump exclusively for a bit until it eases up. If in the hospital they do not give you some “dermaplast” – ask for it. Spray it on your hoo-ha after delivery and for any stitches you may have and it is fabulous!

Poop – Dr. told us that cotton balls and baby oil are better for cleaning tender newborn skin than even sensitive skin baby wipes. Newborn poop is so easy compared to when they are older…its almost a pleasure!

Quiet toys are OK too!!! Cliff would get fussy for no apparent reason sometimes in front of a toy I thought was cool but it was over stimulating him, even if it wasn’t obnoxious.

Rest!! Really. Sleep is one of the only things in life you can store. Store it now, while he sleeps most of the time!!!! Trust me!! 

Stupid. You may be stupid for about a year. Its OK. I’m just now recovering my vocabulary. Pregnancy-stupid is pale compared to some episodes of new-mom stupid. And you will go through phases where everyone else seems stupid too and that is also OK!

Time flies! Cherish and treasure every moment as much as you can. Don’t wish away the difficult times too quickly because it goes by SO fast. Everyone says this but you don’t really get it until time is flying away from YOU!!!!

Use your instincts.

Vacuum your baby to sleep. Yes really. Well vacuum the floor, not the baby. That would be weird.

Whatever works. Within reason, if it works for you, who cares what a book says!

Xpect it to be harder than you think and 100 times more rewarding!

You are going to be a wonderful mommy!!!!!

Zillion things. You may never get through a to-do list again, or show up on time ever again, or remember everything ever again. And you will never have enough hours in the day. But every time he touches you, or kisses you, or smiles at you, none of those other things matter

coach sale

Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

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