I'm having a bit of trouble locating the cord that transfers photos from the camera to the laptop. Because show + tell isn't much fun without the showing, I'll be back to share as soon as I can. For now, I'll leave you with another post I've been working on.
Thea in the NICU, days after her birth
In the months since Thea's birth, many of my friends expecting their own little ones have asked me for advice or words of wisdom. I must admit, this always makes me laugh just a little bit, mostly because since Thea's birth, I've been really, really careful to not give parenting advice. The exception is if I'm asked how we've handled a specific issue, and even then, I try really, really hard to be clear that this is only what has worked for our family, and that I don't at all think that it is the way that things should be done for everyone. Because this is what I do know for sure: Every baby is different. Every mama is different. Every family is different. What I'm finding out is that there isn't only one way to do things. What makes sense for one child and his or her parents may or may not be the answer for our family. I'm learning that we just have to keep trying different ways of approaching a situation until we find something that works for the three of us.
{Another reason this advice asking is so humorous to me is because the advice thing - particularly other people offering unsolicited advice - is something that I have really struggled with since becoming a mama.** If I'm feeling really, really brave, I might write more about that later.}
But for now, I'm offering up the affirmations that I repeat to myself over and over. These are the words that help me regain balance and reconnect with my inner guide.
follow your instincts...trust yourself...listen to your heart (and your head!)...be gentle with yourself...you are both learning and getting to know each other...it's okay to not know what you're doing...don't compare yourself or your baby to others...if necessary, read this a dozen times a day (or more!)...ask for help...accept help...lower the expectations you place on yourself...don't be hard on yourself when things don't work out the way you had expected them to...remember that your expectations for yourself are most likely much higher than those that others have for you...it's okay to sometimes (or a good bit of the time) feel sad and overwhelmed and frustrated and completely out of control...read "the books" (or not!) and pick out the pieces that feel right to you - and throw out the ones that don't resonate with you...rest whenever you can...find little pockets of time do do something that fills up your soul...be flexible...remember that everything is a phase...
You are stronger than you think. Really, you are.
What words of wisdom would you share with soon-to-be or new mamas (and/or dads)?
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**edited to add: the advice I'm talking about is not the exchange of information I've shared with other mamas - that has been so, so helpfulf for me, and I am incredibly grateful to have benefited from the wisdom and experience of those who have journeyed before me (or who are walking this path right along beside me)