clearframe

lessons.

clouds above the treetops

This morning, I had a moment (or ten) when I was overcome with impatience.  Shortly thereafter, I started being quite unkind to myself for feeling this way.

And then I remembered that every moment is an opportunity to start anew. I remembered that I am not defined by my emotions. I remembered that how I felt five minutes ago is not how I have to feel right now.

What lessons are offering themselves to you today?

grateful monday

3 girls and a wagon (photo by John)

I am feeling very grateful for so many things. And, in this moment, I am grateful that I am learning to listen when my body tells me to rest.

It's been a long week, and I'm feeling a bit under the weather.

Be back in a few days.

grateful monday

Camp Jeep, summer of 2005

We had quite a week. On Friday night, my Jeep was stolen from right in front of our house. We walked out to head over to the Chinese New Year Festival, and the car was gone. Just like that. Reports were filed, claims were made, a car was rented. Now we wait.

So today, I am feeling grateful for so many things.

I am grateful that if someone was going to cause trouble in the night, they took the car instead of breaking into our house.

I am grateful that my family is safe.

I am grateful for family and friends who do not hesitate in offering their support and kindness.

I am grateful for warm days and long walks.

I am grateful for evening sunshine.

I am grateful for my sewing machine.

I am grateful for Thea's laugh.

I am grateful for my holiday gift from my love - a month of weekly soup deliveries from one of our favorite restaurants.

I am grateful for endless opportunities to learn and not only for the skills gained, but also for lessons in personal growth.

I am grateful for meals and walks shared with friends, and for the care taken to ensure there was plenty of yummy food I could eat with my restricted diet.

I am grateful that my life is filled with so much love.

John & Thea at yesterday's brunch

What are you feeling grateful for today?

advice to a new mother

I'm having a bit of trouble locating the cord that transfers photos from the camera to the laptop. Because show + tell isn't much fun without the showing, I'll be back to share as soon as I can. For now, I'll leave you with another post I've been working on.

 

Thea in the NICU, days after her birth

In the months since Thea's birth, many of my friends expecting their own little ones have asked me for advice or words of wisdom. I must admit, this always makes me laugh just a little bit, mostly because since Thea's birth, I've been really, really careful to not give parenting advice. The exception is if I'm asked how we've handled a specific issue, and even then, I try really, really hard to be clear that this is only what has worked for our family, and that I don't at all think that it is the way that things should be done for everyone. Because this is what I do know for sure: Every baby is different. Every mama is different. Every family is different. What I'm finding out is that there isn't only one way to do things. What makes sense for one child and his or her parents may or may not be the answer for our family. I'm learning that we just have to keep trying different ways of approaching a situation until we find something that works for the three of us.

{Another reason this advice asking is so humorous to me is because the advice thing - particularly other people offering unsolicited advice - is something that I have really struggled with since becoming a mama.** If I'm feeling really, really brave, I might write more about that later.}

But for now, I'm offering up the affirmations that I repeat to myself over and over. These are the words that help me regain balance and reconnect with my inner guide.

follow your instincts...trust yourself...listen to your heart (and your head!)...be gentle with yourself...you are both learning and getting to know each other...it's okay to not know what you're doing...don't compare yourself or your baby to others...if necessary, read this a dozen times a day (or more!)...ask for help...accept help...lower the expectations you place on yourself...don't be hard on yourself when things don't work out the way you had expected them to...remember that your expectations for yourself are most likely much higher than those that others have for you...it's okay to sometimes (or a good bit of the time) feel sad and overwhelmed and frustrated and completely out of control...read "the books" (or not!) and pick out the pieces that feel right to you - and throw out the ones that don't resonate with you...rest whenever you can...find little pockets of time do do something that fills up your soul...be flexible...remember that everything is a phase...

You are stronger than you think. Really, you are.

What words of wisdom would you share with soon-to-be or new mamas (and/or dads)?

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**edited to add: the advice I'm talking about is not the exchange of information I've shared with other mamas - that has been so, so helpfulf for me, and I am incredibly grateful to have benefited from the wisdom and experience of those who have journeyed before me (or who are walking this path right along beside me)

grateful monday

tulips in our blue bedroom

I am feeling so, so grateful today.

I am grateful for sunny walks on an unexpected warm winter afternoon.

I am grateful for a long-overdue talk with a soulsister.

I am grateful for living in close proximity to (most of) our family.

I am grateful for my favorite boots.

I am grateful for the song of chirping birds.

I am grateful for my new organized studio storage (pictures to follow!).

I am grateful for a date night filled with good food and sharing and a hearty dose of whimsy, wonder, and laughter.

I am grateful for my love and for the ways he constantly amazes me with his kindness, understanding, and support.

I am so grateful that Thea is in my life, and that my days are spent loving her, taking care of her, and learning the lessons she teaches me.

What are you feeling grateful for today?